Holiday Co-Parenting in Ontario: Dos & Don’ts

A young boy blowing out the candles of a menorah surrounded by Hanukkah treats, representing co-parenting during the holidays in Ontario

Written on behalf of Shariff & Associates

The holiday season, often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, can present unique challenges for families navigating the complexities of co-parenting. For separated or divorced parents, the festive period brings heightened emotions, logistical hurdles, and the need to balance competing priorities. Ensuring that the holiday season remains a joyful and enriching experience for children requires careful planning, open communication, and an understanding of Ontario’s legal framework governing co-parenting.

The Importance of a Parenting Plan

One of the most effective ways to manage co-parenting during the holidays is through a well-structured parenting plan. Parenting plans are formal agreements that outline how separated or divorced parents will share responsibilities and parenting time. These plans can be created independently by the parents, through mediation, or with the assistance of legal counsel.

A parenting plan should address the following:

  • Holiday Schedules: Define where children will spend specific holidays, including Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, and other culturally significant celebrations.
  • Travel Arrangements: Establish protocols for transportation, including pick-up and drop-off times.
  • Special Events: Account for family traditions, school concerts, or other significant holiday activities.
  • Communication Guidelines: Outline how parents will communicate about holiday plans and updates.

Courts in Ontario generally encourage parents to work together to create these plans, emphasizing the best interests of the child as the guiding principle.

The Divorce Act and Holiday Co-Parenting

The Divorce Act is a key piece of legislation governing family law matters across Canada, including Ontario. Recent amendments to the Divorce Act emphasize the best interests of the child and promote greater cooperation between parents.

Under the Divorce Act:

  • Parenting Time and Decision-Making Responsibility: These terms replace “custody” and “access,” shifting the focus to the child’s needs rather than the parents’ rights. This is particularly relevant during the holidays, as parenting time must be arranged in a way that supports the child’s well-being.
  • Duty to Cooperate: The Divorce Act and Ontario’s Family Law Act impose a duty on parents to act in the best interests of the child. This includes facilitating meaningful contact with the other parent during special occasions such as holidays.
  • Conflict Resolution: Recent amendments to the Divorce Act encourage parents to use alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation or collaborative law, before turning to litigation. Parents are expected to make efforts to resolve holiday-related disputes amicably whenever possible.

Federal and provincial family laws also recognize the importance of maintaining relationships with extended family members, which may be a consideration in holiday planning. Ensuring compliance with the Divorce Act and Family Law Act’s principles helps parents create holiday arrangements that are fair, child-focused, and legally sound.

Key Considerations for Co-Parenting During the Holidays

Prioritize the Best Interests of the Child

Under Canadian family law, the “best interests of the child” standard is paramount in all decisions related to parenting arrangements. This principle ensures that children’s emotional, physical, and developmental needs are prioritized above all else. During the holidays, this might mean ensuring that the child can spend meaningful time with both parents, even if that requires compromise.

Be Flexible and Open to Compromise

Flexibility is crucial in managing holiday schedules. While consistency is essential, rigid adherence to a pre-set schedule may not always be practical. Unexpected events, such as inclement weather or changes in family plans, may require adjustments. Being open to compromise demonstrates goodwill and fosters a cooperative co-parenting relationship.

Plan Ahead and Communicate Early

Early communication is essential in minimizing holiday-related conflicts. Parents should discuss holiday schedules well in advance to avoid last-minute disputes. This includes addressing:

  • Who will host the child on specific days;
  • Arrangements for school holidays or winter breaks; and
  • Any plans involving extended family or travel.

Written communication, such as emails or text messages, can help maintain clarity and provide a record of agreements.

Addressing Holiday Travel

Holidays often involve travel, whether a short trip to visit extended family or a vacation abroad. Ontario family law provides specific guidelines for travel with children in co-parenting situations:

Domestic Travel

Parents should inform each other of the destination, travel dates, and contact information for travel within Canada. A parenting plan or court order may specify whether consent from the other parent is required.

International Travel

Travelling outside of Canada introduces additional legal considerations. In most cases, the travelling parent will need written consent from the other parent. This consent is typically provided through a notarized letter. Parents should also be prepared to provide:

  • A copy of the parenting plan or court order.
  • The child’s passport and other identification.
  • Contact information for both parents.

Failing to secure proper documentation can result in delays or even denial of travel at border checkpoints.

Managing Family Traditions

Holidays are often steeped in family traditions that hold deep emotional significance. For children, these traditions provide a sense of continuity and belonging. Separated parents can collaborate to preserve these cherished rituals, even if celebrated in different households. For example:

  • If one parent always decorates the tree with the child, the other parent could focus on baking holiday treats.
  • Parents could consider alternating participation in annual events such as carolling, attending holiday concerts/events, or doing gift exchanges.

By working together, parents can create new traditions that reflect their co-parenting arrangement while honouring the past.

Handling Disputes During Holiday Co-Parenting

Despite the best intentions, conflicts may arise. When disputes occur, it is vital to address them calmly and constructively. Strategies for resolving disagreements include:

  • Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR): ADR methods like mediation or collaborative law can help resolve matters amicably with the voluntary participation of all parties involved, encouraging creative resolution of disagreements.
  • Court Intervention: If mediation fails, the courts can provide a binding resolution. However, this should be a last resort due to the time and expense involved.
  • Parenting Coordinators: These professionals assist in implementing and managing parenting plans, providing support in resolving day-to-day disputes.

Legal Remedies for Non-Compliance

When one parent does not comply with the agreed-upon holiday arrangements, the other parent may seek enforcement through the courts. The court may order a variety of remedies, including

  • Compensatory parenting time;
  • Fines or other penalties; and
  • Orders requiring the non-compliant parent to take parenting courses or attend counselling.

It is important to document any instances of non-compliance and seek legal advice before taking action.

Supporting Children Through the Holidays

The holiday season can be emotionally challenging for children in co-parenting situations. Parents can help ease the transition by:

  • Reassuring the Child: Emphasize that both parents love them and want the best for them.
  • Encouraging Communication: Allow children to express their feelings about the holiday arrangements.
  • Avoiding Conflict: Shield children from disputes or negative comments about the other parent.
  • Maintaining Routines: Consistency in meals, bedtimes, and other routines provides stability amidst change.

Cultural and Religious Considerations

Canada’s diverse cultural landscape means that holidays may hold different meanings for different families. Co-parenting arrangements should respect and accommodate cultural and religious traditions. For example:

  • Parents of different faiths may alternate or share the celebration of holidays such as Christmas and Hanukkah.
  • Special consideration should be given to dietary restrictions, religious observances, or other practices significant to one parent’s culture.

Shariff & Associates: Providing Compassionate Advice on Parenting Plans in Markham-Stouffville

Co-parenting during the holidays requires patience, cooperation, and a commitment to prioritizing the well-being of children. Parents can navigate this often complex season with grace and goodwill by developing a detailed parenting plan, communicating openly, and embracing flexibility. At Shariff & Associates, our family and divorce lawyers help parents craft personalized arrangements that meet their family’s needs and ensure the holidays remain peaceful for all involved.

Located in Whitchurch-Stouffville, Shariff & Associates proudly serves clients throughout York Region, Durham Region, Markham, Ajax, and Uxbridge. To schedule a confidential consultation, please call 905-591-4545 or contact us online.